I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
