'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize