Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
