i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
