Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
