I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
