the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
