I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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