You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i came on her dog
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
