He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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