And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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