those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
