Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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