She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
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I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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