And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
