Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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