Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
