We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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