well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
