No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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