Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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