I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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