Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
