Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My penis needs a shock collar
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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