i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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