when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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