Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
it's like iHOP with fire
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
