I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
