Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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