you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
