Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
