I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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