like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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