I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
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Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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