Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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