What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She even gives head with a lisp.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
