So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
