Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
