I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
