me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
