Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
