would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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