you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
