Your tits are I can't wait for
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
