Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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