Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
