Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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