I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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