He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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