Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize