I got chris browned last night
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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