Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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