Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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