You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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