i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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