idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
