I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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