hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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