Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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