p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
