As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
