ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
