6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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